Dear AARP

First of all, I apologize to anyone who might be fifty or over for my ranting response to letter received. Second,  a gals gotta  hang onto her youth as long as she can!

Dear AARP,

Thank you so kindly for your membership proposal. You may take it and ram it up your @$$.

In case you don’t know. I AM NOT YET FIFTY YEARS OLD!!!!! In fact I am a mere forty-six. That gives me FOUR (actually 3 ½ , but who’s counting?!) whole years to consider the advantages of your exclusive membership.

BTW, who offers oldie memberships to women who haven’t even hit menopause? I am truly becoming suspicious of your motivation.

Since you obviously have my name and address, but not my birthday, I want to know if someone sent you a photograph of me. I can explain:

Those grey hairs you see, it’s called mothering teenage boys.

The wrinkles, got them the same way.

Rounded middle…I eat my worries away.

Weak bladder. That’s from birthing those little monsters, yeah nine pounders!

Any other reasons that led you to believe that I was fifty, I will still pin on my kids, and if they don’t fit the bill, I’ll stick it on Dirt Man!

While I do appreciate the fact that you are “fighting for my American Dream”, I think I am achieving it without your assistance.

As far as other special privileges, I don’t need or want your instant savings on car rentals, eye care, dental services, pharmaceuticals, insurances, or even your cash-back credit card.

Nor am I interested in your magazine or your newsletters about money and travel. First my kids have sucked me dry as far as money goes. And travel, well, I can’t retire because I still have to pay for said children’s college expenses.

No, I will not join your local chapter. I have no interest in getting together with a bunch of retirees and playing bingo, square dancing , comparing denture creams, or whatever it is they do at their meetings! I choose to wait until I actually hit fifty, and then I’ll consider seeing what people THAT age do!

Furthermore, You should really consider an overhaul of your membership drive committee. They suck! Really, is it standard practice to send an invitation to someone only forty-six? If so, I am sure I am not the only pissed off forty-six year old out here!

But hey, I’ll keep the two membership cards you sent. I might can use them for scraping my windshield or something.

Again, I thank you for considering to allow poor little “old” me into your exclusive club. And again, SHOVE IT!!!!

Just so you know, it’s your fault that my children have just lost their inheritance. (That is what they haven’t yet sucked out of me!) They found it quite hilarious, that I received this in the mail. Now, I intend to spend every cent I have before I expire. It has become my new aspiration in life.

Yours Truly,

A young at heart (if not in photos), SuziCate

[Via http://suzicate.wordpress.com]

Got Questions? Bioidentical Hormone Doctors Answers Your Questions!

Bioidentical Hormone Therapy Seminar:

Who should attend?  Women and men ages 35+ suffering from the symptoms of hormonal imbalance such as weight gain, lost libido, mood swings, hot flashes, depression, sleep problems, fatigue, memory loss, muscle loss, erectile problems and thinning hair.

What:  Menopause and Andropause (The Male Menopause) & All Natural Bioidentical Hormone Therapy Seminar

Where & When: Find a date and location near you below

Admission: RSVP Required – Free Admission. Limited Space Available

Register:  Register online today!

Details:   

State Location Physician Date Time California Encino Dr. Deuson 27-Jan 7:00pm California San Diego Dr. Center 21-Jan 4:00pm Connecticut Manchester Dr. Dam 20-Jan 5:00pm Florida Naples Dr. Rubin 26-Jan 4:00pm Florida Orlando Dr. Solomon 19-Jan 6:30pm Florida Orlando Dr. Landa 27-Jan 6:30pm Georgia Atlanta Dr. Donohue 20-Jan 6:30pm Illinois Chicago Dr. Mazzei 20-Jan 8:00pm Kentucky Louisville Dr. Abell 21-Jan 6:00pm Ohio Cleveland Dr. Joseph 19-Jan 6:00pm Texas Dallas Dr. Gorn 21-Jan 5:30pm Wisconsin Milwaukee Dr. Raskin 21-Jan 6:30pm

 

Register today and learn how bioidentical hormones and BodyLogicMD’s customized 3 pronged approach to wellness has helped tens of thousands of men and women feel their best!

[Via http://bioidenticalhormoneexperts.com]

Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and Fibromyalgia # 2

1/11/10

UGH. DOUBLE UGH.

As some of you know, I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis which even though it sounds like a special on a dinner menu is an auto immune disease. Before being treated for that, I was formerly diagnosed with  Fibromyalgia.   My Endocrinologist gave me Synthroid when, after menopause, I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid.   Synthroid brought my thyroid levels back to a normal range but I still felt absolutely horrible.   Months and months later I found my way to a Rheumatologist who diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia and prescribed Cymbalta. I still felt horrible and about a year later I found my guru Dr. who is the Head of Auto Immune Diseases and Rheumatology at a NY hospital.  I think I might be in love with him… he’s a genius.

I  take Plaquannel every day.  And folic acid.  Oh, and methotrexate with a high dose of Vitamin D, twice a week. It pretty much takes me out of commission 4 days of the week  because my stomach rages against the methotrexate for two days each time I take it.  I take Cymbalta for the Fibromyalgia (which I may or may not have) and an anti-depressant used for anxiety issues. I am my own chemical compound. I was also on Prednisone which at high doses makes you feel incredible, high, and young and when you lower it significantly and slowly, you feel like you are in the movie “Cocoon” where the elderly first are given a special potion to feel young and fabulous and later on it goes away and they feel old and horrible again. Heartbreaking but true.  I’m not proud of all the medications I have to take but I am not ashamed either.

According to my guru Dr. in the city “Fibromyalgia is a lazy diagnosis.”  His theory is that anyone with an auto-immune disease like mine will feel achy, fatigued and have muscle pain.  To me, the patient, I don’t care what you call it, as long as you can help me feel better.

It took two complete years to even get on the right track of my initial diagnosis and while I think I am on the right track, it doesn’t mean that I feel swell all the time. It means I feel better and have learned to handle and predict certain situations. I am also 53 and not 23 and that does make a significant difference. Somewhere in this medical mystery of mine, I have had many broken  bones, sprains and torn ligaments;  I think there is a connection with the Hashimoto’s but not definitively.  All I know is that  it hurts and takes a very long time to heal.

My experience with the above urges me to say the following: If you feel that something is wrong, believe it. My internist didn’t believe me at all and actually left the office in a huff when I started crying from all the pain. Go to different doctors for their opinions. Don’t be scared that Dr. Jones will be insulted if you see Dr. Stevens. Nobody cares. Hardest but most important of all, believe that you will get better! You may not be perfect but you will be better and you do need patience for that.  Keep trying and keep believing that you will not always feel this bad. Believe me, I am still learning  and relearning that lesson every single day.

Good Luck!

[Via http://hibernationnow.wordpress.com]

Lose Weight After Menopause

Going through menopause is generally not a fun time for women (or their husbands for that matter). They have to deal with ever occurring hot flashes and night sweats, mood swings, sleeplessness, depression, and the list just keeps going. These symptoms can last for a few years making the end a joyous occasion, almost. Many women find that they gain weight during menopause and it tends to stick around longer than menopause, and woman, being the self conscious beings they are, tend to stress about the extra pounds. Generally, the weight gain is not to extreme for most women gaining about 10-20 pounds. Good thing there is a simple way to get rid of the excess weight without killing yourself at the gym.

Eating a healthy is the first step to weight loss. Today’s society is filled with fast foods, sugary drinks, and other equally unhealthy things that we all consume. Cutting all that junk food out for your diet will help you lose the weight quickly. This includes any fast food, sodas, most frozen dinners, crazy Starbucks concoctions, and other foods high in fat. This doesn’t mean you have to stop eating foods that you like or stop eating out all together. You can still eat deserts and go to restaurants, but keep it in moderation. If you still work, try either packing a lunch or healthy frozen lunch instead of eating at Burger King every day.

When eating at home remember portion control. Take a look at the nutrition fact before cooking for yourself and look at how many servings there are in the container. A lot of people today believe they are eating healthy based on what the nutrition facts say, but they eat two or three servings at a time. A great example is a Marie Calendar’s chicken pot pie frozen dinner. The average person would not have a problem finishing a 16oz pot pie by themselves, and it seems like a fairly healthy dinner; roughly 650 calories per serving. But what a lot of people do not look at is a 16oz pot pie contains two 8oz servings bringing the actual calorie count closer to 1,300 calories. This is 65 percent of a 2,000 calorie diet in one meal! You do not necessarily have to start counting calories, but you should be aware of about how many you take in each meal and smaller portions will help keep the number low. There are a number of online calculators that will tell you the ideal number of calories you should take in for your weight. Some will also tell you how to adjust your diet to reach your target weight by a certain target date.

Exercise is also an essential part to weight loss. A lot of older people, especially women, are hesitant to go to a gym because they think they have to work themselves to death to see any results. This is not true; in fact light to moderate exercise four times a week will provide you will outstanding results. Besides helping you lose weight, exercise will give you more energy for everyday life and make you feel better by improving your general mood. The thing to remember when working out for weight loss is that you are not necessary trying to build a bunch of muscle. Instead you are going to strengthen and tone the muscle you already have which will burn off excess fat fast.

To tone muscle you should do high numbers of repetitions with light weight. Aim for three sets of 15-20 repetitions each. You should also chose a weight that will allow you to complete all three sets with relative ease. The last set should be the hardest of the three, if not then chose a higher weight. When working out it is best to work muscle groups versus doing a whole body work out. You will recover faster and you will see better results sooner. There are three main muscle groups or pairings that can be worked; back and biceps, chest and triceps, and legs. You should try to work only one muscle group per workout day. Core and auxiliary muscles, which include abs, shoulders, and neck, can be worked in with the main groups on your workout days at your digression.

Cardio is another exercise that should be done at least 30 minutes a day, three or four times a week. Running the one of the more popular cardio exercises, but many older people find that this puts too much stress on their legs and that they are doing more harm than good. Biking is a good alternative as it greatly reduces the stress on the legs and many people enjoy it better. For those who wish to stay indoors for their cardio workout for whatever reason you can find cardio machines at most gyms. These include treadmills, stair steppers, stationary bikes, and elliptical machines.

Lose Weight After Menopause by Feminestra is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

[Via http://feminestra.wordpress.com]